the procrastination monster (and why it will ruin your life if you let it)
I want to change the way you think about procrastination. If you procrastinate, chances are you hate it. I do, too..
Some people see procrastination as a minor thing. A joke.
I don’t believe that at all. In fact, I think that the instinct to procrastinate can, and will, destroy your hopes of living the life you dream about living.
Does that sound extreme? My friends, if anything, it’s not extreme enough.
Do me a favour:
Imagine a creature that wants you to be miserable. A creature whose only goal is to:
· Stop you doing things that excite you and make you feel alive
· Stop you doing things that make you feel intellectually fulfilled
· Stop you doing things that help you grow as a person
And, in the end, stop you doing the things that, deep down, you know you were put on this earth to do.
In fact, every single time you think about doing something new, something that maybe scares you a bit. But when you do think about it, makes your heart race and really feel alive…
This creature will rear up and do everything in it’s power to stop you. To keep you in a box where nothing can hurt you, but where you can’t live, either.
And it won’t care if it destroys your self-esteem and your creative dreams along the way.
Does this creature sound like a goodie? No.
If a person treated you this way, you’d (rightly) call them abusive.
This creature is a monster. And it is. It’s the procrastination monster. And it will ruin everything if you let it.
It’ll put you in a box where you never take any risks, but never actually live.
And what do you call a risk-free box containing someone who isn’t living?
A coffin.
What is the goal of the procrastination monster?
The procrastination monster has one goal: for you to do nothing new and never change in any way.
Literally, that’s it. If the procrastination monster had a procrastination monster family motto (those family christmases would suck) it would probably be:
Never grow. Never change.
If something could change your life and help you grow as a person, the monster will try and stop you doing it.
This can be anything:
Taking up a new fitness regime
Writing a book
Applying for a better job
Asking out that person you’re basically in love with
Making a career change
Giving up drugs/alcohol/sugar/anything bad for you
Learning a musical instrument
Taking up a martial art
Doing a professional qualification
Asking for a raise
You name it. If it could change your life, and give you the feeling of achievement….
The procrastination monster will do everything it can to stop you doing it.
Procrastination isn’t that big a deal. You’re being over the top.
Am I? OK, let me prove to you how procrastination really makes you feel:
Think of a really, really happy experience you had.
It could be a gig. An amazing book you read. The best kiss you’ve ever had. A great night out laughing, dancing, and having the best time with your friends.
It doesn’t matter. Just as long as it’s a really happy memory.
Now, notice how remembering it makes you feel.
Great, right?
It doesn’t matter how old your memory was, thinking of it now still makes you feel good.
You’re probably smiling just thinking about it. I usually do.
(In case you’re interested, mine is a surprise Metallica appearance at the first music festival I ever went to.
I went from nothing to being zero to being in front of Metallica in about 10 minutes. ‘Adrenaline rush’ doesn’t even cover it.)
Anyway, now you’ve got your brilliant memory in place, I want you to think about something you’re indifferent to.
Not something you hate, just something you’re not bothered about.
If you’re not a sports fan, it could be a football game.
If you don’t drink alcohol, it could be a bottle of wine.
Hell, it could even be a person you’re indifferent to.
Again, notice your feelings. Or, more accurately, the lack of them. There’s nothing there, is there? Just complete apathy. A big ol’ bowl of ‘meh’.
Compare to your great memory…well, there’s no comparison, is there?
Now…
Start thinking about that thing you’re putting off. (You’ve got one. I know you’ve got one.)
Applying for a dream job. Starting a business. Joining a gym. Whatever your personal thing is.
Think about how long you’ve been putting that thing off. Think about how far along you’d be if you’d just done it when you first thought of it.
You could have money saved, and feel safer.
You could be enjoying people complimenting you on your new body.
Jesus…you could be in bed naked with that person you fancy right now if you’d just asked them out.
(You wouldn’t be reading this, obviously, but you get the idea.)
Now, how does missing out on all of that make you feel?
Feel good? Feeling proud of yourself? Feeling positive?
I’m betting not.
In fact, using my own extensive experience of the procrastination monster, I’m betting you’re feeling things like:
· Embarrassment
· Shame
· Self-hatred
· Anger
· Frustration
· Sadness
And just generally feeling kind of worthless and like you’re wasting your life.
(I’m not judging. As I said, these are all feelings I’ve felt when the monster was doing it’s evil work.)
Anyway, can we now admit that maybe, procrastination really isn’t just a harmless joke?
Here’s the horrible truth:
If procrastination was really fine, you would feel as indifferent to the thing you’re procrastinating about as you did to whatever you thought of when I asked you what you didn’t care about.
But you don’t, do you?
When you think about the thing you need to be doing that you’re not doing, you feel miserable. Like you’re trapped.
And that’s why the procrastination monster sucks.
And why I’m going to show you everything I’ve learned about overcoming that mofo.
Why did I make you do this particular exercise?
Once you’ve done this feelings exercise - which I call GIB (Good, Indifferent, Bad) once, you basically will not be able to lie to yourself about what procrastination does to you, ever again.
Or, if we’re being more specific, the monster won’t be able to lie to you about how miserable it’s making you.
Here’s the unpleasant truth…
The procrastination monster always lies
See, unfortunately, the procrastination monster isn’t just mean.
It’s clever. Insidious. Manipulative.
Just like a possessive lover will never just come out and say ‘I want to control where you go and who you see’..
The procrastination monster will never just come out and say ‘I WANT YOU TO NEVER DO ANYTHING AND NEVER REALLY LIVE’.
If it did that, you’d know you were being manipulated.
No…the procrastination monster hides out of view.
Like a serpent, it whispers lies in your ear in such a way that you end up believing those lies are your own thoughts.
That way, you’d know you were being manipulated.
And it’ll never tell you big, unbelievable lies.
It’ll tell you lies that, taken one by one, are perfectly reasonable:
‘I’m going to start the diet tomorrow…’
‘I need to research that thing first before I actually work on it…’
‘I need to buy a new guitar before I write this song…’
The lies will vary depending on what you’re procrastinating on, but they will always push you towards the same single thought.
“I’m going to do the thing. Just not today.”
Because, everyone can miss a day, right? What does one day matter?
And then all those ‘not today’ days add up, and become ‘not this week’.
‘Not this week’ becomes ‘not this month’.
‘Not this month’ becomes ‘not this year’.
‘Not this year’ becomes ‘not this decade’.
And eventually…
‘Not in this life’.
And suddenly, you’re on your death bed. Not thinking about the things other people wanted you to think about. Or the things advertisers told you mattered.
But instead, you’re thinking about the things you never did.
The books you never wrote.
The businesses you never started.
The people you never kissed.
The things that deep inside your heart, you knew you were put on this earth to do…
That you never did.
Because many years ago, you listened to a monster when it told you:
‘Oh, we’ll do it…
Just not today’.
Part 2, the lies the procrastination monster tells you, here.