5 ways you’re being lied to by the procrastination monster
(Part 1 here)
We know by now that the procrastination monster has one goal: to stop you doing the thing you want to do.
Today, we’re going to cover the lies the monster will tell you to stop you.
Remember, the procrastination monster is a binary beast. You either work on the thing today, or you don’t.
If you don’t, the monster is happy. It has won the day.
This means that your choice is binary, too. You either work on the thing, or you do not.
The monster’s goal is to make you think, ‘We’ll do the thing. Just not today.’
And it has a lot of lies in that manipulative, horrible mind…
Here are the most common ones. I’ve used all of these myself, and I’ve heard friends, coworkers and partners use them all, over and over again.
Some of these are going to make you wince, because you’ve used them, too.
But as Ted Lasso puts it:
‘The truth will set you free…but first, it’ll piss you off.’
Like Dante in the dark woods, we have dwelled too long. Let’s get started…
Procrastination Monster Lie 1:
I’m tired. I need to rest.
I have never gone from energetic and feeling good to feeling exhausted and sad faster than when there is something I want to do that I am putting off.
I can sleep 9 hours, eat nothing but fish and vegetables and exercise all week, and then as soon as the day comes to do a thing the procrastination monster doesn’t want to do…
BAM, it’s like I’m suddenly 80 years old. Sleepy. Tired. Drained.
Simply too tired to work.
And as always with the procrastination monster, it feels reasonable to say ‘well, I’m just too tired today’, right?
But here’s the funny thing.
On the days I am simply exhausted, but thanks to body doubling and other procrastination killers, I tell the monster to F off and get things done anyway…
As soon as I’m finished, I suddenly feel better than I have all day.
Which doesn’t make sense, does it? If I was tired earlier, and now I’ve done a lot of work, I should feel more tired.
It’s almost as if I wasn’t really tired, and something was making me feel tired to stop me working at all.
If you have anything you’re procrastinating on, and you find you’re constantly exhausted with no real reason…
There be monsters here.*
Procrastination Monster Lie 2:
i need to go for a walk/run/gym before i work
I love long walks. 4 miles, minimum, every day. At the weekend, I always do at least a 9 mile walk.
Due to pounding the paths this often, though, I need rest days to let my dodgy knee recover from swelling up.
But, guess what? When rest days co-incide with days where I need to work on something I’m putting off..
I get a desperate desire to go for a mega walk. 10 miles or more.
In other words, the sort of walk that tires me out so much that when i get back…I won’t be able to work.
Hmmm.
Exercise can be the procrastination monster at work. And it’s one of the monster’s most evil tricks.
Because exercise is great. You’re going to read this and think ‘Well, yeah, but exercise is good for me’, and you’re right. It is.
But I can prove that it’s the monster at work with one sentence:
You can exercise after you’ve done the thing.
In fact, you’ll be happier.
Because you’ll get that awesome post-exercise endorphin rush combined with the feel-good rush of doing the thing. And let me tell you, that combination RULES.
It’s the best of both worlds for you.
But it’s not what the monster wants. Which is why, just now, when you thought about exercising after you did the thing rather than before, a big internal voice (that isn’t yours) reared up and said:
‘NO, EXERCISE HAS TO BE FIRST BECAUSE…’
And then gave you some reasons that are reasons (Gym will be quieter, exercising on an empty stomach is better, etc) but probably aren’t reasons you’d be that fussed about if you didn’t have the thing you’re procrastinating on doing.
Because, remember, the monster’s goal is always to make you think:
‘I’ll do it…just not today.’
And if it can use exercise to get you out of the house and away from what you’re doing, it will.
But it’s not the better option for the monster. Which is why, when you confront your brain with the idea of working first, you’ll get a huge feeling of ‘NO, EXERCISE HAS TO BE FIRST BECAUSE…’
And then some lame reasons, because the monster’s goal is always ‘We’ll do it, just not today.’
Establish your own exercise routine, with the same days and times. And then, if you get a desperate need to exercise outside of that schedule all of a sudden…
Chances are it’s the monster at work.**
Procrastination Monster Lie 3:
i need to get lunch/dinner/coffee first
Being genuinely hungry is a legitimate distraction that makes it hard to focus.
Guess what? You can solve genuine hunger in 30 seconds. Eat a handful of nuts, or a banana, or a natural yoghurt, or whatever.
Craving caffeine? It’ll take you two minutes to make a coffee or tea at home, and five minutes to drink it.
But, of course, the monster doesn’t want to delay you for five minutes. It wants to delay you every day for the rest of your life.
Which is why the monster will suggest getting something to eat/drink in a way that takes a lot longer:
‘I need to go a fetch a coffee.’
‘I should order some lunch in.’
‘Maybe I should go out for dinner this evening.’
‘I can go to the sandwich shop and get that panini I like.’
The lie will vary depending on what you like to eat or drink, but all the lies will have one thing in common:
They will take up time. Time that you will therefore not be spending on doing the thing.
If you’re genuinely hungry or in need of caffeine, that’s fine. Eat something quick, and get back to work.
Any other alternative is the monster.
Procrastination Monster Lie 4:
i need to spend money on something before i get started
As a guitarist/amateur music writer, I know this one very well.
The procrastination monster hates me writing and recording music, because I love doing it.
(That’s a good rule to remember, by the way. The more fulfilling you find something, the more the procrastination monster will resist it.)
So I’m bombarded with thoughts like:
You’re struggling to play that riff because YOUR STRINGS AREN’T THICK ENOUGH. BUY MORE STRINGS.
You don’t like those vocal takes because YOU NEED A NEW MICROPHONE.
You’re struggling to mix this because YOU NEED MORE PLUGINS.
And so on.
This monstrous trick makes sense, and we all fall for it. Because guess what?
If I need a new microphone, and I have to order that microphone and wait for it to show up…
That’s another day of not doing the thing while I wait.
Here is a rule that is almost always true:
YOU DO NOT NEED TO SPEND MORE MONEY TO GET STARTED.
You almost certainly have everything you need to do the thing, and you probably do not need to buy new:
Software
Computers
Instruments
Microphones
Fonts
Templates
Pens and pads
Whiteboards
Exercise gear
Clothes
Or anything else that the monster tells you you have to spend money on before you can get started.
You can get started with what you have. The monster knows this.
YOU KNOW THIS.
But boy the monster will try and convince you otherwise.
And even if you accept this, it’s got another trick up its monstrous sleeve…
Procrastination Monster Lie 5:
i need to read or watch (learn) more before i get started
Like the most sinister procrastination monster lies, this lie is strong because it’s mixed up with something true:
Knowledge is good.
It’s very hard to argue that knowing more about the thing you’re doing will help you in the long run.
Learning to invest? Reading a book by Warren Buffet will probably help you in the long run.
Learning to code? Doing an online course on how to get started can’t hurt.
Writing a novel? Learning from an expert will probably help you.
So it becomes very east to believe the monster when it whispers:
‘I need to read that new book on graphic design before I build my website.’
‘I can’t start lifting weights until I’ve ordered the Encylopedia of Bodybuilding.’
‘I can’t start cold-calling potential clients until I’ve taken that guru’s new course.’
But here’s the problem:
There will always be things you don’t know. There will always be more knowledge you can take on.
You will never be finished learning.
So, how can you tell if this is the monster, or if you genuinely do have a legitimate knowledge gap?
Simple. Start doing the thing.
Start writing the book, or launching your YouTube channel, or emailing potential clients.
At a certain point, you will hit a genuine knowledge gap.
Maybe your YouTube videos have good engagement, but your click through rates aren’t good.
Or you get to a chapter in your book, and you realise you don’t know the legal rules about quoting another author.
Or your new eating regime is helping you lose weight, but your body fat isn’t changing.
At this point, it’s fine to read an article/watch a video on improving click through rates, or legally quoting other writers, or reducing body fat.
Because you’re solving a specific problem that has a specific solution. By solving that problem, you’ll be able to KEEP GOING.
Now, when I told you that the key is just to start and then see where your gaps are, did that big old voice rear up and say something like:
‘NO, I JUST NEED TO DO MORE GENERAL RESEARCH/READING/PREPARATION. I CAN’T JUST START.’
?
That’s the procrastination monster. And it really won’t like you starting and working out knowledge gaps along the way.
Because that approach means you’ve started. And that’s the one thing the monster doesn’t want you to do.
Which brings me onto the final - and in my opinion the most evil - lie the monster will tell you.
The lie that it’s probably telling you right now.
The lie that it’s probably already told you
That’s the monster. And it doesn’t like the idea of starting and working out any knowledge gaps along the way.
Because this approach means you starting. And that’s the one thing the monster doesn’t want you to do.
Which brings me onto the final lie. And, in a way, the worst one:
Procrastination Monster Lie 6:
these lies don’t apply to me. i am a special case.
If reading any of this has annoyed you, and made you think something along the lines of:
“Well, this might apply to most people, but I really do need to eat/exercise first thing/buy equipment/go to sleep/read another book before I get started…”
I’ve got bad news for you. That’s your monster, too.
In fact, along with ‘we’ll do this, just not today’, I think that ‘my case is special’ is probably the most manipulative lie the monster tells.
Procrastination is evil. And it will ruin your life.
But you (and I) are not special in suffering from it.
There is not something unique stopping you doing what you’re struggling to do. We all struggle with the monster.
If you’re an ADHD sufferer like I am, our monster is bigger and scarier than it is for the average person.
But we can still fight that monster and win. Just like other people have.
Will you beat the monster every day? No.
Can you beat the monster enough to do the things you want to do.
For the love of God, YES.
If I put a gun to your head, and said ‘find a way to do the thing or I’m blowing your brains out’, you could think up a solution, couldn’t you?
Yeah, you could. You might even have just thought of one.
I’m going to share everything I know about beating procrastination on this site.
When you start to realise these strategies can work if you use them, the monster will play it’s last, most sinister trick.
And when it does, you should celebrate, because it means the monster is rattled.
How to know when your monster is really rattled (the last trick it will play)
Right now, your procrastination monster is probably pretty angry. Not only have I exposed it to you, and shown you all it’s secrets…
I’ve even exposed the ‘but I’m special’ trick, which is the monster’s last, most sinister trick.
Once you know the ‘I’m a special case’ lie is a lie, the monster gets rattled, and it throws up a last pathetic attempt to convince you:
It starts throwing up reasons as to why you shouldn’t work that aren’t even related to your situation.
For example, I remember telling a friend all about this monster.
He was a writer, like me. And he was struggling to finish a short story he was working on.
Once I got to the ‘I’m a special case’ lie, do you know what he did?
He started saying things like:
‘But what if your computer breaks down?’
‘What if you needed to have an operation and were in the hospital and couldn’t get to your desk?’
‘Surely sometimes these aren’t just excuses?’
Dear reader, this man did not have to have an operation, and his computer was fine.
These were things that could stop someone. But they weren’t stopping HIM.
His monster was exposed, and it was panicking. So, it started throwing up hypothetical reasons why he might not be able to work in future.
When your brain starts throwing up excuses not to work that aren’t even relevant to you…
Well done, my friend. You have exposed your monster, and you truly understand what you’re facing.
You will know the monster’s lies for what they are.
How can you combat the monster?
Get started here.